Many apologies for the long absence. I really have no excuse -- Summer got in the way, work got in the way, life got in the way. However, I sense a hint of Fall in the air and that always lifts my spirits. Fall weather is the best!
At our recent support group meetings, we have talked about recovery -- when does it happen, what does it look like. There is no cookie cutter approach to recovery. The common thread we see is that it has to start with the sufferer. We cannot bargain and deal with the eating disorder. It does not want to recover. We need to help our loved ones see that they are worth it, they do count and that they need to stop listening to that voice that tells them otherwise. It is not their friend and it lies to them every day. We need to help them see the truth.
Many individuals suffering from an eating disorder will think if they change areas of their life externally, they will be OK. If I move, I will be happy. If I change jobs, I will be happy. If I break up with him/her, I will be happy. If I get married, I will be happy. They dance around the core issue -- that healing must begin inside.
True happiness will not be attained until they have peace on the inside.
When my daughter was ill, I lived in a constant state of fear. Fear of what could happen. I read the statistics about eating disorders. It's not pretty and it scared me numb.
I recall one evening when I felt all hope was lost. I just did not know what to do anymore. I could not help her recover. What should I do now?
There is a line in a country song . . . "I'm down here on my knees 'cause it's the last place left to fall . . . " That is what I did. I hit my knees and I prayed and I cried. I asked God for help. I asked him to please help my daughter. I had prayed before, but only for this to be done so I could get on with my life. This time was different. I surrendered her care to Him and asked Him to show me what I needed to do. He showed me that I needed to make some changes on the inside as well.
Words cannot describe what I felt that evening; but I knew that I needed to get strong and I needed to give her back her disease. What transpired over the next year was a slow healing. It was not always smooth and we had some difficult challenges. We hung in there together and did not allow the eating disorder behavior to get comfortable in our home ever again.
I look at my beautiful daughter today and there is no hint of the disease that almost took her life. God has blessed our family and continues to be our support.
. . . and in March, I am going to be grandmother. How cool is that?