Got Clutter?

I have come to the conclusion, after 21 years of marriage, that my husband is a collector, messy, and maybe even a Stage 3 hoarder.  He saves things, even broken things that he may one day fix. The problem being that our garage is a huge cluttered mess.

I am amazed that he even finds things when he needs them. Maybe he doesn't and he just buys another one because whatever he's looking for is under a pile of other tools.

I try and throw out things that are broken or falling apart, but he's onto me. He digs through the garbage after I've very stealthily wheeled the garbage can to the curb.

The worst thing he ever dumpster dived for was the infamous green extension cord. In his haste to trim some bushes in the backyard, he cut the plug end off. Whappa whappa, then silence as the poor green extension cord died.

But not dead, no indeed. Mr. Husband (I won't say his name because then he'll bring more stuff home.) informed me that the extension cord could easily be fixed. Off he went to Home Depot and bought a new end to the extension cord.

He successfully attached the new end that plugs in the wall plug and held it up and we praised his fix it skills. Then we both noticed. He had attached the same plug that was on the other end. So basically you could potentially plug the extension cord into the top prongs of an outlet and then plug the other end into the bottom socket. What would that do to the power in our house? I'm guessing, because I am not an electrician, but I would imagine we'd be in the dark, literally.

Mad at his mistake, he flung the cord on top of the washing machine (where else would a useless extension cord belong?) and went about his other chores. I flipped it into the outside trash can where it belonged and before I knew it he had dug it out and was merrily mending his poor green extension cord. Except when he pulled the new end from the Home Depot bag, it was the same end that was on the cord already. Drat.

Instead of flinging the dratted thing into the trash, I went upstairs and I scooped the cat's litter box into a big black trash bag. Then in went the green extension cord, tied the bag in a knot and flung it in the wheeling trash can. Done.

Several weeks passed and he went in search of his project, the green extension cord. "Hey honey, have you seen that green extension cord?" I froze as my mind spun the different things I could tell him that would make him less angry. So I did what most people would do when trying to tidy up. I told him it must be in the garage somewhere.

A lie? Yes, but really he didn't specify that specific extension cord. We have lots. The next day I browsed the selection of green extension cords at Target and when I returned home, I flung it on the top of the washing machine.