Eight have tried, all have failed.

We're talking about "the challenge" at That Bar in Danville to eat a 5-pound hamburger in less than an hour. Winners get the burger on the house, a T-shirt and a photo on the "Wall of Fame."

It's a feat Food Network celebrity Adam Richman (of "Man Vs. Food" fame) may have to tackle one day.

We didn't enlist celebrity help for our challenge, but we did find two brave readers to take on this battle of man against pounds and pounds of meat, cheese and all the fixings. Together, it's as big as about 20 normal-sized burgers. The calorie count? You don't want to know.

Oh, let's not forget there's a grilled cheese sandwich in the center. You know, just for the heck of it.

Our contestants, Ryan Haber from Concord, and Lucas Bloxsom from Antioch, were among the aforementioned eight who failed. But it was a battle of the ages, or at least of the lunch hour. It got our two fearless contestants to consider converting to vegetarianism.

Here's a play-by-play of man vs. "That ($30) Burger":

0 seconds and counting … Ryan and Lucas get to work, slicing off a hamburger-sized chunk from the behemoth meat mash-up. They're in no hurry, though, given that there are 60 minutes to go. They said it's easy going at this point, considering it's one of the tastiest burgers they'd ever eaten.

10 minutes in … and our burger warriors are making some headway. Lucas, a wiry football player, is in the lead, having eaten about two burgers worth. Ryan, who claims to have eaten an entire medium pizza, says he's pacing himself and asks for a smoke break.

20 minutes … a third of the way through, and both men say they're filling up. Ryan's catching up at this point, cutting off pieces from the mountain of meat, bacon and fried onions.

30 painfully long minutes in … flavor is irrelevant now. Our guys are sick of beef. They're thinking of fasting for at least a day, just to recover and let their stomachs shrink back to size. And the burger? It's only about a third of the way gone, for both contestants.

40 minutes … Ryan and Lucas wonder aloud why they even signed up for this glut-fest.

50 minutes … Lucas looks brain dead. We're sure his pig-out has moved blood flow away from his brain. He's only picking at his platter. He's chewing very, very slowly. Ryan's in the lead now, although it appears he's eating no faster. He at least looks conscious, but says the ordeal will give him nightmares for days.

57 painfully long minutes in … borderline comatose, our boys call it quits.

Three minutes short of our deadline, we have a clear winner: Ryan. He ate more than anyone restaurant manager Ashley Branson had ever seen, but still carved his way through only about half the burger.

BOTTOM LINE: There's. Just. No. Way.